In the Face of a Friend

I have been thinking and praying for my sweet friend who, today, experienced her first holiday without her husband.

I am certain to let her know she and her kids are on my mind randomly...when they are.  I remember very well how another element of grief shows up when everyone else's life goes back to normal after a death and you're left trying to figure out what normal is.

Today, she shared a picture of herself with her sweet children and my heart leapt into my throat.  They're gorgeous, of course, and the kids look great in the Easter pictures. Sweet children smiling for a camera.  When I look at the face of my friend, I am heartbroken for her a million times over. 

She stands beautifully in the photograph behind her children with her hands on them.  In this photograph, the first holiday without her husband and their father...she truly, truly looks so beautiful, there is painful evidence of sadness mixed with protection for her children. 

She is one of the strongest women I have ever known.  I believe in the power of prayer and she and her family will remain in mine.

loves loves

"Sissy Went Bye Bye"

Last Friday afternoon, Lily was looking out the livingroom windows and calling, "Sisssss-eeeee!"
I aimply answered, "Sissy's at school, Punky."   She accepted the answer and went about her afternoon playing, singing, reading, dancing, coloring.

When she woke up Sunday morning, she looked over to Reagan's bed on the other side of her room and said, "Sissy."  I thought for a minute about how to respond and simply said, "Sissy's not here."

I thought back to Friday afternoon when Lily was calling for her at the window.  Reagan wasn't coming home that night, but instead going to visit BM for her weekends. 

After Sunday's inquiry, I said to George that I wondered what Lily thinks about where or why Reagan isn't here over the weekend.   Lily and I talk about Daddy being at work and she's said "scooooo" when Andrew and Reagan are gone during the day for a long time now, so she is aware that people come and go at different times.

But, this one's a new one.

Sure, it sound simple to just say, "She's at her mom's." 
But to a 20 month old?
It's not that simple.  For now, we just say, "Sissy went bye bye."

And that's far better than the explanation she doesn't need. 

BM refers to Reagan being "away at school" for the week. I laugh because she's not away at boarding school or in college and then goes home for the weekend. She lives with her dad. I guess that's a hard pill for BM so she says Reagan's "away at school." 

I'm far more of a realistic person than one to paint a false picture.
"Sissy went bye bye," is truthful and age appropriate for now.  Not something I ever considered I'd have to think about how to respond to my toddler.

Like George said, "Unfortunately, Lily will understand it soon enough."

We're Goin' On an Egg Hunt!

This year was Lily's 1st egg hunt.  Our township does this annually and although she was 9 months last year on Easter, it rained, so we didn't go just for the photo op.  This year, we woke up to a chilly, cloudy day and were hoping the rain would hold off.  It did, thankfully!

We slightly bundled up and headed off to the community center. Andrew went with us happily begrudgingly, but was glad he was there to watch Lily too. ;)

Lily loveloveloves to run! If there's open space, she is so happy to just go.  Trying to corral her while we waited for the hunt to begin was challenging.  We passed her back and forth between the Daddy, Andrew and myself. Mostly Daddy and Andrew since I had the camera.

When it was finally time for the "hunt", she was thrilled to be able to run in an open field!
Daddy helped show her to put her eggs in her basket and once she knew what to do, there was no stopping her.  Each child was to gather 12 eggs and then turn them in for their goodie bag.  We just let her put the eggs in her basket and then tossed back out any more than 12.

She was very proud of herself!

We had a good time watching her gather eggs in her basket. She occasionally stopped to dance too.

You'll see how difficult it is to contain this one as I tried to get a picture with her for literally one minute.

 Be free, little one!

When we finished up with the hunt and on our way out, we ran into somebody very special... I was shocked at her reaction! She literally gasped saying, "Ohhhhhh" as she couldn't get out of her daddy's arms fast enough to get to the Easter Bunny.

She was enamored with the bunny.



She tried to kiss the bunny a billion times, and kept touching his face and climbed up for him to hold her.

Thanks, Easter Bunny! {bock bock}

See ya next year!