A Little Me Time

This weekend went by entirely too quickly.  Last night I told George that I was not ready for Monday.  Here I am Monday, ummm....still not ready for you.  But, alas there is no stopping of time.

After last week, I was ready for the weekend.

I had a class scheduled that I had been looking forward to for the last month and a mom's group meetup minus kids both on Saturday. That meant Lily was all Daddy's all day!  Andrew spent most of the afternoon with his friends, so it was just Lily and Daddy.  Lily is busy. Always.  There's no stopping until she's asleep. I think he has a better appreciation for the exhaustion I feel some days. ;)

The weather was gorgeous Saturday. Not a cloud in the sky, warm and sunny. Perfect. 

I'll share some of what I learned in my class soon, as I literally just looked through my pictures that day and am so happy to have it "click" with learning to take pictures not in automatic. I'm super excited about it! Just the difference of pictures when you have a better understanding of the functions of your camera is amazing! Plus, Michelle is much more interesting than my camera manual and dvd.

After running Andrew around a little bit in the afternoon and getting him signed up for hockey, I  tried to relax a little bit before headed out with my mama friends...sans kids! We opted to for hibachi and had a great time just hanging out and chit chatting. 

Amy, me, Dina, Stefanie, Tracy

These are some of my favorite people.  I appreciate each one of them in different ways and having in-person friends who listen, cheer, and encourage is lifesaving!

Yesterday, I had plans to practice some of my newly acquired photog skills with my guinea pig Lily, but the rain foiled that plan. Andrew had a birthday party to attend and George had some running around to do, so I relaxed at home with Lily and did some cleaning.  Nothing exciting at all. :)  And that's a-ok with me.

As I said, not ready for Monday as evidenced by my dog getting stuck this morning and getting me all muddy trying to help her only to then catapult my newly opened {read: no sips out of it} Diet Dr. Pepper all over my bedroom floor and then Lily dumping my full cup of water {with a lid} all over the dining room floor while I ran to the bathroom.  Monday is not being good to me. 

Thank God for a great weekend leading into it!

Walking with Integrity

As we are raising our children, we're often faced with decisions and situations where morals come into play. Teaching our children to have good character is obviously subjective, but for us is a basic foundation. This applies not only in what we speak when we discuss events or actions in our home, but also what we model.  Are we perfect? Absolutely not.  Do we strive to "do the right thing" for, to and surrounding our family and in every aspect of our lives? Absolutely.

Yeah, we get mad, have disagreements, say things we need to apologize for and things like that. But, I can honestly say in the 5 years, my husband and I have been together I don't look at him and question his integrity.  We are the same in that we both believe things are right or wrong.  Not "kinda" right or "kinda" wrong. Pretty black and white.  We live this way.  Teaching our kids to tow the line for right and wrong. We aren't teaching them that "what they can get away with" is acceptable.

In many moments over the last five years, we have seen the ugly side of the legal system.  Not simply what is right, but what benefits an attorney's pocket or personal gain, dragging out the cycle of attorneys' fees, court fees'and everyone is gaining something...except the children involved. We encountered a mother who was willing to litigate at all costs when she had no financial incentive to stop. However, even during that process, we learned anything and I mean anything will be thrown at the wall in court to see what sticks. Even if reputations were threatened, careers could be damaged,, and the most valueable part...children could be destroyed.  There was a lack of integrity.  I'm too idealistic for the legal system.  I'll stick with teaching.

Today we were back in court regarding my stepdaughter...trying to get court orders that have been violated to be enforced and get BM to take my stepdaughter to her Brownie activities.

Court isn't a frightening place.  We simply go in, knowing we're going to do the right thing, put it out there and prove it.  We've maintained doing the right thing throughout this process that began a long, long time ago.

The new{est} judge we've been involved with spoke volumes to me today.   He is currently the 6th in the long line before him that have heard our case through general family court and even Superior Court.

As I sat and listened to him speaking to the litigants before us, I genuinely felt he was fair and honorable. I appreciated the way he spoke to everyone and the demeanor in which he carried himself.

When it came time for my husband and BM to go before him, I was looking forward to how he would deal with these circumstances. 

A few weeks ago, it had come to our attention that there was a potential personal relationship between the new judge and a member of BM's family. However, before my husband even had the opportunity to bring this up, the judge recused himself from the case because he had received a personal email asking for his help on this case.  As I said above, this spoke volumes to me.  He was willing to go {and did go} on record to say that he was removing himself from this case and also the reason he was doing so. 

Integrity.

So, while we wait for further information on a new assignment and yet again, my stepdaughter continues to pay the price, we now have to face the reality that the moral environment she is in when away from us, is lacking in integrity.

Asking the judge for a personal favor in an ongoing case lacks integrity.

I'm grateful we have a history of precedence and integrity that we walk with each time we enter the courtroom.

Are You Present?

With 6 days remaining in my 38th year, I've been pretty reflective lately.  I'm a reflective person anyway, but there are several times throughout the year I become moreso. Seemingly this is one of them. ;)

I've begun merging previous blogs all into this one. I'd like our story to be in one place and not scattered around, purging paperwork and packing away others, soaking in being present and working on eliminating the inevitable chaos. I've written recently about balancing. This theme is weaving it's way entirely through my life...

Soaking. In. Being. Present. 

I'm in such a place of being in love with my daughter and who she is. She's pure magic and she has no idea.  The excitement and joy she exudes is so, so heartwarming.

Literally, just watching her explore her world makes my heart swell. Just this morning when she was coloring, and picked up a new crayon, I told her it was purple and of course, she tries to say everything so it is now a "purkle" crayon. She was coloring with pik (pink) and purkle.  I do not take one moment of her forgranted. She reminds me what makes sense when all the demands of life take hold.

When Andrew was a baby, I was in such a hurry for him to hit milestones early and grow quickly while with Lily, I've been so relaxed and not in any hurry for her to do things early.  Just do as she needed.  Having a 19 month perspective, I can see, her fine motor and verbal skills developed earlier and more quickly. With Andrew, his gross motor skills were primary.

She's doing exactly as she should be. Her time.  Her language has exploded lately and we are enjoying it, cracking up and encouraging her. Best. age. ever. {I'm sure I'll say that a billion more times for whatever age she is at the time, of course.}

I'm taking a class this weekend...for myself and going to dinner with my mom's group too. I'm looking forward to some one-on-one time with Andrew and then a relaxing, yet productive Sunday with my husband around the house. 

While all that may seem simple. Simple is what is important to me. 

There's so much bullshit with the blended part of our family that just never goes away. Never. 
Take blogging for example. What bearing does reading BM's public blog have on court?  Really?? Come on, it's the internet and it's public. Public.  Keyword: public.
Let me say it one more time:  p-u-b-l-i-c. 

I suppose "statcounter" should itself be called "statstalker". 

I have a stat tracker. Not for her crap. She has a billion IP addresses anyway, so it's irrelevant.  If you go out of your way to hide and change your IP when you come to my blog and email my husband, something is wrong with you. 

Just that little blurb is why simple is important to me, as that crap can easily consume if we let it. 

Hence the focus of being present is where I am in my life as I approach another chapter.