One year.
One phone call.
Seems like not a lot of time really, but when you think about the daily chaos that preceded it for years, it's huge.
We've made it a year!!
We've gone to activities together, counseling together, we've been flexible with schedules and days, we've worked together to accommodate each other's family plans.
We each are welcoming new baby girls this year.
So much has changed.
Does it mean that we always agree? Nope.
Does it mean that we don't still make each other mad? Nope.
What it does mean, is that we handle it all differently.
There simply isn't the blame game going on even when we have difficulties with our shared daughter.
Personally, it's been a harder last 6 months or so in my own relationship with Reagan than in my relationship with her mom. Part of life, I imagine.
I'm so grateful for the renewed existence and appreciate the ability to be able to share how I feel about a situation even when I know mom doesn't or isn't going to agree. I think being able to gain each other's perspective instead of simply being stubborn has been truly life changing for all of us.
What I did not anticipate was a lot of the resistance we experienced from Reagan herself. There are still attempts on her part to stir up trouble, but I don't know that she still knows how to handle her mother and I saying, "Well, I'm sure your mom..." or "Well, I know that Stephanie..." in defense of each other and putting the accountability and responsibility back on her. We're still working through it.
It's definitely still a learning process, but safe to say... life is good. And we haven't been in court since August of 2011! With none of us having any desire to return.
Finding a new way to handle coparenting, blended families, and issues has been very, very good for all of us one year later.
Showing posts with label coparenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label coparenting. Show all posts
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
Friday, August 31, 2012
Beginning 3rd Grade
If you've been a long time reader or know me in person, odds are you know the past five year history of Reagan's custody schedule and our struggles in dealing with such.
Last August, we went to court to lobby for Reagan to attend school in our district which was successful and thus led to a schedule where Reag was with us during the school week and with her mom on the weekends. While it was good for school, it was tough for us with regard to family time and of course, Reagan's participation in Brownies or extra activities.
Summer came along and the schedule changed to one full week here and one full week at her mom's. Fridays were our "exchange" days. To be honest, at first we did not love it. It was rough on all of us. As summer went along and we got into the swing of it, we liked it more and more. Thankfully. It was just an adjustment from having no down time throughout the school year to all down time.
Here we are now, a brand new school year...third grade!
George and Reagan's mom decided to make some adjustments to the school custody schedule and we're continuing with the week on/week off way of life this year. We're thrilled because we get some weekend time wooooo hooooo! It works out so great for Reagan! Her mom gets more school involvement time which allows for Reag to be involved with Brownies as well. It's truly a win-win for all of us. It's more changes with her mom's side of the family for this year, so we're supportive of working together to make things work for Reagan. I know!!! Can you believe I'm even saying this???? {I still have to write how our story changed...I'm working on it.}
This sweet girl has had a long time dream to have her parents be able to be in the same room together without friction. We attended Curriculum Night at school last night where working together on her behalf has started seemlessly. It's going to be a great year!
It's worked out that no matter what custody schedule has been in place, that Reagan has been with us on the first day of school since she started. This year was no different.
life is good
Last August, we went to court to lobby for Reagan to attend school in our district which was successful and thus led to a schedule where Reag was with us during the school week and with her mom on the weekends. While it was good for school, it was tough for us with regard to family time and of course, Reagan's participation in Brownies or extra activities.
Summer came along and the schedule changed to one full week here and one full week at her mom's. Fridays were our "exchange" days. To be honest, at first we did not love it. It was rough on all of us. As summer went along and we got into the swing of it, we liked it more and more. Thankfully. It was just an adjustment from having no down time throughout the school year to all down time.
Here we are now, a brand new school year...third grade!
George and Reagan's mom decided to make some adjustments to the school custody schedule and we're continuing with the week on/week off way of life this year. We're thrilled because we get some weekend time wooooo hooooo! It works out so great for Reagan! Her mom gets more school involvement time which allows for Reag to be involved with Brownies as well. It's truly a win-win for all of us. It's more changes with her mom's side of the family for this year, so we're supportive of working together to make things work for Reagan. I know!!! Can you believe I'm even saying this???? {I still have to write how our story changed...I'm working on it.}
This sweet girl has had a long time dream to have her parents be able to be in the same room together without friction. We attended Curriculum Night at school last night where working together on her behalf has started seemlessly. It's going to be a great year!
It's worked out that no matter what custody schedule has been in place, that Reagan has been with us on the first day of school since she started. This year was no different.
Happy 1st day of 3rd Grade!
life is good
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Getting on the Same Page
Mid-afternoon the phone rang.
It was close to Lily's waking up time, but I answered anyway.
It was Reagan's mother.
I had recently said to her if she had something to say to me to call, not email or text.
This time she called.
Of course, it's not the most comfortable of situations for either of us, but she asked if I had a minute to talk and I did.
So we did.
While, the specific words are not necessarily important to journal here, the turning a corner is.
We {she and I --I know weird, huh.} are both at the point where enough is enough.
Some past tendencies on both our parts started to leak out on the phone, however we were able to redirect the conversation back to what matters and why we are even in each other's lives at all.
Neither of us is going away.
We've got to figure out a way to be on the same page about Reagan on some level. There will have to be give and take on both of our parts.
She shared a few things that I was surprised by. And I believed her.
I did hear some surprise in her voice as I think she realized some things I said were truthful, but maybe I'm just hopeful.
I feel it's a very simple fix to start.
If she and I present the front to Reagan that we are on the same page, much of the back and forth will simply be eliminated. Does it mean we're going to be the best of friends? No, but it will show the daughter we share that pitting her mothers against each other does nothing good for her own life. I think we both want a peaceful existance in our lives. I know I do.
I spoke with Reagan later this afternoon. I asked her a couple tough questions {that I already knew the answers to} and saw her immediately tense up. To her credit, she owned up.
After getting to the heart of some of this, I shared with her that she is modeling behavior both good and bad for her baby sisters. Even though they're both little, they still look up to her.
Lily squeals with excitement, screaming her name when she comes in the door on Mondays and each day after school. She's started crying when Reag leaves for school and she asks for her over the weekends looking for her. I know it makes her feel good when Lily is so excited to see her. I told her that I'm sure Roxy is the same only she can't say it yet, just like when Lily was tiny, but I bet she smiles when she sees her. Reagan smiled pridefully and said she understands what I mean about modeling her behaviors.
I asked her what she thought could make things different with the 3 of us~her mom, her and myself. She made a suggestion about all of us talking "in a room together." {this actually made me laugh to myself picturing all of us trapped in a room together} I told her it was an idea and she should talk to her mom about it. I also suggested to her that she might feel less worry and stress if she was just truthful to both of us.
She spoke with her mother this evening and owned up with her about some things as well. I feel sure they'll talk more when Reag goes there this weekend. I hope the open-mindedness is there with Reagan's mother and that Reag remains truthful...even when it's hard. Time will tell.
Maybe if we can find a way to simply get on the same page, we can just start a new chapter.
As I said earlier, something's gotta give.
It was close to Lily's waking up time, but I answered anyway.
It was Reagan's mother.
I had recently said to her if she had something to say to me to call, not email or text.
This time she called.
Of course, it's not the most comfortable of situations for either of us, but she asked if I had a minute to talk and I did.
So we did.
While, the specific words are not necessarily important to journal here, the turning a corner is.
We {she and I --I know weird, huh.} are both at the point where enough is enough.
Some past tendencies on both our parts started to leak out on the phone, however we were able to redirect the conversation back to what matters and why we are even in each other's lives at all.
Neither of us is going away.
We've got to figure out a way to be on the same page about Reagan on some level. There will have to be give and take on both of our parts.
She shared a few things that I was surprised by. And I believed her.
I did hear some surprise in her voice as I think she realized some things I said were truthful, but maybe I'm just hopeful.
I feel it's a very simple fix to start.
If she and I present the front to Reagan that we are on the same page, much of the back and forth will simply be eliminated. Does it mean we're going to be the best of friends? No, but it will show the daughter we share that pitting her mothers against each other does nothing good for her own life. I think we both want a peaceful existance in our lives. I know I do.
I spoke with Reagan later this afternoon. I asked her a couple tough questions {that I already knew the answers to} and saw her immediately tense up. To her credit, she owned up.
After getting to the heart of some of this, I shared with her that she is modeling behavior both good and bad for her baby sisters. Even though they're both little, they still look up to her.
Lily squeals with excitement, screaming her name when she comes in the door on Mondays and each day after school. She's started crying when Reag leaves for school and she asks for her over the weekends looking for her. I know it makes her feel good when Lily is so excited to see her. I told her that I'm sure Roxy is the same only she can't say it yet, just like when Lily was tiny, but I bet she smiles when she sees her. Reagan smiled pridefully and said she understands what I mean about modeling her behaviors.
I asked her what she thought could make things different with the 3 of us~her mom, her and myself. She made a suggestion about all of us talking "in a room together." {this actually made me laugh to myself picturing all of us trapped in a room together} I told her it was an idea and she should talk to her mom about it. I also suggested to her that she might feel less worry and stress if she was just truthful to both of us.
She spoke with her mother this evening and owned up with her about some things as well. I feel sure they'll talk more when Reag goes there this weekend. I hope the open-mindedness is there with Reagan's mother and that Reag remains truthful...even when it's hard. Time will tell.
Maybe if we can find a way to simply get on the same page, we can just start a new chapter.
As I said earlier, something's gotta give.
Saturday, May 5, 2012
The Chaos Behind It
You can find Part One {the kid version}here.
The grown up part of the birthday sleepover went something like this.
I wrote about inflexibilty recently surrounding this party. The chaos continued, naturally.
Right after Easter I got an email from Reagan's best friend's mom about the slumber party. George forwarded the information to BM and proposed this: let Reag ride the bus home Friday so she can go and we'll pick her up Saturday morning and take her to BM's. BM replied only for the bff's mom to contact her directly. BM also told Reag not unless bff mom contacts me directly. I email bff mom and ask her to appease BM for Reagan's sake.
Eventually, BM says yes to bff mom with the condition only if George takes Reagan. {Of course, we're going to take her despite the stupidity of BM's control freak actions leading up to that.}
So here's how this is supposed to go when it was all finalized: Reagan rides bus home from school Friday. We take her to the party. BM picks up Saturday morning.
Simple right?
No, of course not. BM is involved.
George gets an email from BM yesterday afternoon saying she no longer has access to a car on Saturday and needs him to pick Reagan up from the party. Ummm, seems to me we suggested that mid-APRIL, but that wasn't an acceptable option.
Well, last minute doesn't work out for us this time. See, after the initial removal of our participation in facilitating Reagan going to the birthday party, my husband had planned on going fishing this weekend. Again, in April this was planned. I supported the fishing trip and told him to continue despite him saying he didn't want me to have to feel pressure to ensure Reag was going to the party after BM said Reagan could go only if we took her. Again, of course we're going to take her.
After he got home from work and we took care of our family's business, he emailed BM. This was after her second email to answer her ASAP or she'd have to pick Reagan up tonight. HA! Totally expected that. Threaten to ruin it for Reagan by making her leave the party.
George said we weren't available to drive Reag to BM's, but we could pick her up after the party {which is 5 minutes from us} and BM could pick her up when she had a car.
The reply was this: "There's no need. We figured it out since you couldn't be bothered to respond sooner."
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!
Seriously. He is not at your beck and call and it is not his responsibility to work out your issues.
After previously in the week telling BM that I have no interest in continuing email between the two of us because we need to be able to speak to one another like adults so emailing needs to cease, I get this text message from her:
Apparently, she thinks that texting me is acceptable as the alternative. Mind you, this is the first time in five years she has sent me a text message. {I think the last one I sent to her 3+ years ago said, "you are nuts."}
Also, it is not from her cell phone number because we're not allowed to have that. She actually once told a family court judge during our trial when the judge asked for her phone number that it was private and she wasn't giving it. hahahaha! Narcissistic much?
I replied:
The grown up part of the birthday sleepover went something like this.
I wrote about inflexibilty recently surrounding this party. The chaos continued, naturally.
Right after Easter I got an email from Reagan's best friend's mom about the slumber party. George forwarded the information to BM and proposed this: let Reag ride the bus home Friday so she can go and we'll pick her up Saturday morning and take her to BM's. BM replied only for the bff's mom to contact her directly. BM also told Reag not unless bff mom contacts me directly. I email bff mom and ask her to appease BM for Reagan's sake.
Eventually, BM says yes to bff mom with the condition only if George takes Reagan. {Of course, we're going to take her despite the stupidity of BM's control freak actions leading up to that.}
So here's how this is supposed to go when it was all finalized: Reagan rides bus home from school Friday. We take her to the party. BM picks up Saturday morning.
Simple right?
No, of course not. BM is involved.
George gets an email from BM yesterday afternoon saying she no longer has access to a car on Saturday and needs him to pick Reagan up from the party. Ummm, seems to me we suggested that mid-APRIL, but that wasn't an acceptable option.
Well, last minute doesn't work out for us this time. See, after the initial removal of our participation in facilitating Reagan going to the birthday party, my husband had planned on going fishing this weekend. Again, in April this was planned. I supported the fishing trip and told him to continue despite him saying he didn't want me to have to feel pressure to ensure Reag was going to the party after BM said Reagan could go only if we took her. Again, of course we're going to take her.
After he got home from work and we took care of our family's business, he emailed BM. This was after her second email to answer her ASAP or she'd have to pick Reagan up tonight. HA! Totally expected that. Threaten to ruin it for Reagan by making her leave the party.
George said we weren't available to drive Reag to BM's, but we could pick her up after the party {which is 5 minutes from us} and BM could pick her up when she had a car.
The reply was this: "There's no need. We figured it out since you couldn't be bothered to respond sooner."
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!
Seriously. He is not at your beck and call and it is not his responsibility to work out your issues.
After previously in the week telling BM that I have no interest in continuing email between the two of us because we need to be able to speak to one another like adults so emailing needs to cease, I get this text message from her:
Apparently, she thinks that texting me is acceptable as the alternative. Mind you, this is the first time in five years she has sent me a text message. {I think the last one I sent to her 3+ years ago said, "you are nuts."}
Also, it is not from her cell phone number because we're not allowed to have that. She actually once told a family court judge during our trial when the judge asked for her phone number that it was private and she wasn't giving it. hahahaha! Narcissistic much?
I replied:
I recognize that there ARE things she may need to contact me about regarding Reagan, but just make a quick phone call and be done with it especially since I have asked as much. And the times when I have needed to get a hold of her during the school day, she doesn't answer her home phone anyway. In this case, she'd already emailed George again, so there was no need for the text to me at all.
And quite honestly, I do not need my life inundated with BM at every turn. It's bad enough as it is.
This morning, Reag comes up to the door and says, "My mom wanted me to drop my stuff off and get my bookbag." No biggie. She said she had a good time at the party, but was also nervous 'cause her mom picked her up. Seriously. The amount of crazy is disgusting. LET THE KID JUST BE A KID!!!!
Looks like BM took her husband to work and had their car. {that's my assumption, however.}
Whatever. Instead of being psycho that my husband didn't jump on your time frame, you could have simply accepted the offer BACK IN APRIL when we offered to bring her home in the first place before creating a psychotic chaotic scenario for everyone~especially Reagan and her friend's family.
If she'd learn to quit being so controlling, everyone could have just made those plans and moved on. Reag could have been happy about going to a party for a few weeks instead of worrying about it constantly and also worrying that BM would change her mind {she almost went and picked her up during the party remember, so R's feelings are valid}, BM wouldn't have had to stress about the car and figuring it all day yesterday and getting pissed George didn't answer her during her time frame.
See? Would have been STRESS free. But, people who have to have things their way or no way, never see that. There is no "co" in coparenting.
I'm so grateful for the place my husband and I are in together. The chaos BM stirs up just causes us to shake our heads, say a prayer for Reag and move forward.
I think BM could cluster up a trainwreck.
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Chronicles of Inflexibility
One element I will never understand about our situation is the inflexibility about doing what's right for my stepdaughter with regard to her time and activities.
As I've mentioned before, Reagan was involved in Brownies this year per her desire. Last week was their final meeting of the year {once a month}. When filling out the survey about the experience, it was difficult because when asked what her favorite activity was during the course of the year, Reagan had only two to choose from. She missed the 15+ others because they were during BM's time and BM refused to allow Reagan to participate on "her time." So, she attended a meeting once a month and the only two activities that fell during the week rather than on a weekend. She missed out on a zoo overnight, a 2 day camping trip, countless service activities, a Father-Daughter dance, a Haunted House, selling cookies with her troop at the grocery store, Earth Day clean-up among others.
Last week while we were eating supper, we were talking about Andrew's upcoming hockey season and she said most of her friends are playing soccer now and she wants to play a sport. Tricky situation, kid. We told her that she needs to tell her mom because it's not fair to herself or a team that she misses out on half the games because her mom won't bring her. {We've already been down this road in the past.} There is a clause in the custody order to cover this, but BM refuses to follow it anyway, so it's pointless.
Realistically it's not fair for a team to not be able to count on a participant to show up and take the place of another who can and will show up. We explained that as well. She won't tell BM she wants to do anything anyway. She's been taught that she won't be able to, so she just doesn't hope or ask anymore.
It's not simply sports or scouts either. Birthday parties in the past have been denied or told she can go, then the rug pulled out at the last minute. Even with an upcoming birthday slumber party, she said she's not allowed to go because the mom didn't send the information to BM directly. Ok, crazycakes. That's seems fair. The friend's mom and I have worked on committees together, we have kids in two same classrooms {Andrew and her older daughter are in the same class too} and are friends. So, she sent the information to me. Why wouldn't she since all of the above mentioned?
George simply forwarded it to BM. All of it. The flyer with info. He didn't re-write it or change it. So instead of going to a slumber party with her best friend on a Friday night until Saturday morning because Reagan didn't get invited BM's way, she misses out again. Control
Here's the thing. Reagan tells her own friends that BM won't let her do anything on "her time." Those friends tell their parents. Thus, those parents don't want to get involved in the chaos. {me neither}. This was one of the parents taking a shot in the dark that Reag would be able to come because HER daughter really wants Reagan there. Pretty soon, those invitations just won't come. And that is simply hurtful to Reagan. Not us. We ensure Reagan participates and has a rich life during the time she's with us by normal family participation as well as activities. For the record, I don't talk about BM with school folks because she's embarrassing to me and I don't want any association with her at all, so there's not that factor with Reagan's friends' parents.
The inflexibility doesn't end there, sadly. Last weekend when we headed out of town, George took a shot in the dark and asked BM if Reag could come with us. {Of course, BM would never give without getting, so he offered her 3 extra days in the summer out of his custodial schedule.}
She ignored him for a few days and after we'd sent Reag off to school Friday {the day BM's representatives pick her up}, she decided to answer telling him he needed to plan things on his "ample time" with Reagan. hahahahahhahahahaha!
Yeah, ok. While we're busy ensuring she's successful in school, attending doctor and dental visits, participating in extracurricular activities and being the parents, we'll just whisk away out of school and work because it's "our time". This is the real world, honey. Not the fantasyland you reside in. The responsibilities of the actual work in being her parents lie with us. You've successfully become the person she visits on the weekends by your own doing.
We've been on the weekend side with her. We still ensured her life was rich with time and activity as best we could. Only 6 more weeks of school and then we switch to a week on/week off which I'm sure will bring another set of issues with BM, but we'll see. I'm looking forward to the break.
Reagan is to call the non-custodial parent each night per the legality of life when your kid is in the family court system. While this was fitting in the past brought on when we'd go weeks with hearing from or seeing her during the custodial process, at this point an eight year old should not have to be forced to make phone calls to her parents. She specifically says that if she doesn't call BM from our house then when she wants to call her dad when she's at BM's, she won't be allowed. So the obligatory phone call gets made each night despite lack of desire. However, when she does want to call her on a time when she's not "supposed to", BM doesn't answer anyway. It's a joke all the way around. A kid should be able to call her parent to share, say goodnight, I miss you, I love you, hi or whatever because she WANTS to WHEN she wants to.
Last week, I suggested that Reag FaceTime BM instead of just calling {in an effort to encourage the desire versus obligation}. After explaining that BM could set it up via email instead of with her phone number {that she's legally obligated to give, but doesn't because she thinks we want it to harrass her. whatever *coo coo*} Reagan was able to FaceTime with BM two nights. We suggested she sit on the porch for privacy and she was able to enjoy a conversation with BM and see her baby sister during the week. Rest assured that will never happen in the reverse. Ever. I still suggested it because something needed to be better for Reagan. And that's why we do what we do. For her.
We're at the point where we have no expectation regarding BM allowing Reagan to participate in anything that is associated with us, school, our family, her friends, or time. We just go about it without her and although we desire her to be with us, we're not putting our lives on hold because she's stuck with inflexibility on her other side.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
My House is Different than Yours
It always makes me shake my head when daggers are thrown our way for our parenting, life, choices, home, yeah pretty much everything about us.
Does it make one a better person to continually degrade other people?
I think many people learn that life lesson much younger in life, long before they have children and just don't bring that habit into their child's life, teaching them to put others down. I've never been a fan of hurting others to make oneself feel better.
In thinking about teachers as a whole --the type of people who generally become teachers, there's generally a "type".
We see the diamonds in the rough, the spark in that person who everyone else has said isn't capable. We are positive, optimistic, hopeful. We champion for the best in everyone. Really, teachers--good teachers--don't give up on people. That's me.
In addition to the teacher in me, the mom in me has been successfully parenting a school-aged kid for quite some time. I've had years of experience and know what routines for homework, studying for spelling tests, not letting handwriting be sloppy etc., work.
Doesn't mean I'm better.
Just means I actually do have a clue.
I don't have to start over from scratch with my stepdaughter on these routines because I've already tried them out on Andrew.
Yes, she's a different kid, but the basics work.
Does she sigh when I make her go back to math homework and rewrite the numbers so they're legible? Yep. So does my son. I don't want perfect kids--just kids who are learning that "getting by" isn't enough. Do your best. Make a 5 look like a 5, not a scribble. Make your handwriting age appropriate, not chicken scratch. These are expectations that we have in our house. All part of the big picture of who we are raising these young people to grow up to be.
Just because my stepdaughter "isn't my kid", doesn't mean I care less about her education and growth as a human being.
Just because MY role in our home involves school--preparation, studying, reading, encouraging, signing papers, going through backpacks--doesn't mean my husband doesn't care or value it. Seriously?
Those roles work in OUR house, so why is it a source of meaning that "you (my husband) don't care" or "you don't know" for anyone else?
My house is never going to be like your house. That's ok with me. I can't control you. I don't try to control you.
Every. Single. Thing. is a point of issue for biomom.
The fact that Lily and Reagan share a room--not a big deal. Apparently it is: http://gotonepastgoalie.blogspot.com/2011/03/sharing-room.html
My husband doesn't do what biomom wants HIM to do, so that equals he doesn't care about his daughter. What?! That means I'm "the babysitter aka wife" and also "mommy aka wife". What?!
Clearly, my house is different than yours. AND THAT IS OK!
The "ok" part, you need to get "ok" with.
We had an incident this week with biomom regarding my stepdaughter's spelling list. It became an "I'm a better parent than you," accusation slinging. Come on. Seriously? IT'S A SPELLING LIST!
Important background info:
Spelling tests are Fridays. Lists are individualized. New lists come home Fridays. Reagan is with us on Fridays.
In the past, two lists have come home for the following week's test. One for our house, one for biomom's. Saturday night when Reagan leaves, biomom's list would go back with her.
About 3 weeks ago, Reagan stopped bringing home two lists and just brought home one. Saturday evening, I got her school stuff ready to go back to biomom's and off I headed to the grocery store. I had left our spelling list on the desk. George asked Reagan if it needed to go back to biomom's. Reagan said yes. So, mistakenly our copy went to biomom's. No biggie. We figured it would come back on Wednesday so we could study before her test Friday. It didn't. Reagan called biomom Thursday, got the words and that was that.
Two weeks ago, Reag only brought one list. Same thing this past week.
After the 1st week when only one list came home, I had spoken with the teacher and she shared that Reagan had only wanted to bring home our list and would take the one to biomom's on Mondays. Ok, no big deal. Or so I thought.
Seriously, the slinging about how irresponsible we are, how we lie to "cover our asses", our "general failure", how we use Reagan as a "scapegoat for our faults" and on and on ABOUT A SPELLING LIST!!!!! It's an easy fix ---contact the teacher to find out.
The teacher called me on Monday to wish me happy birthday (so great!) and I asked her to please ensure that Reagan bring home both lists on Fridays. She is very accomodating to Reagan and her feelings, so when Reag said she only wanted one, that's what she did. Now, she will ensure biomom gets a spelling list by sending home 2 copies on Friday --one for us, one for biomom--AND sending home another one to biomom on Mondays. From a teacher perspective, you do what you have to do...
SERIOUSLY THIS IS ABOUT A SPELLING LIST!!!!
I just shake my head at the ridiculousness of it. What the hell are we going to deal with when we have a teenager facing peer pressure, drugs, alcohol etc. if this is what we deal with over a spelling list?
So, instead of either talking with your daughter or contacting the teacher to ask if 2 lists went home, why you didn't get a list, did your daughter ask to start bringing home your list on Mondays....throwing daggers and attacking seems like a more reasonable choice.
My house will always be different than yours.
And for that I am grateful.
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