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Thursday, December 15, 2011
Monday, December 12, 2011
Under the Same Roof
One of my all-time favorite tv shows is Parenthood. I loved the movie back in the day too. (going old school)
It's one of those shows I look forward to every week and when it's not on, I'm disappointed. It's just that good. I laugh and cry every. single. episode. If you don't watch this show, YOU. ARE. MISSING. OUT.
A few weeks ago, part of an episode really struck me regarding families.
There is a character--Jabbar: a 6 year old boy, whose parents were planning on getting married but are no longer. They split up and in this episode had the realization that their son didn't know they wouldn't be getting married even though they all no longer lived under the same roof.
So, they sat down with him together to explain as much.
As they talked, they discussed different types of families with him. The scene finishes with this 6 year old boy somberly saying,
"I wish we were an under the same roof family."
(You can watch the scene here from 17:13 to 19:14 or so.)
I know at times Andrew has wished for that. And Reagan has too.
I remember taking Andrew to the airport when we still lived in Arizona for him to fly to visit his dad and the line was FILLED with kids waiting to get on airplanes alone to visit another parent somewhere. Tears immediately filled my eyes as I was so overcome by how the makeup of families has changed so much and my son was a part of that as well. It's sad, really. I don't wish Andrew's dad and I were still married (obviously). I'm so glad that Andrew has a great relationship with all of his parents and we all are able to love, encourage and support our son peacefully. I cannot imagine what that means to him. He's never known any different, but has been witness to the drastically extreme difference between Reagan and all of her parents and his.
Andrew's struggle is that his dad and I live in two different states, so his time with his dad isn't as frequent.
Reagan's struggle (one of them) is being allowed the freedom to love all of her family. Being told Lily is only her "half-sister" and wouldn't even be that until her dad and I were married (yeah, nevermind genetics) but then having a new baby at BM's that is allowed to be her "sister" even though technically she's a "half" too. Again, why do this to your own child? Just let her love them and be excited about them. Of course, Reagan, is now more comfortable in her role as big sister since Lily is 16 months old, so it's been really exciting for her to see a newborn and have some "experience" under her young 7 year old belt. ;) She talks to us about this new baby just as excited as she did about Lily. However, she also has shared some sadness throughout this process... BM telling her she was the last to know that the baby was born or BM saying to her, "this isn't a free-for-all for you to talk about Lily now that the baby is here." Well, since Lily is Reag's experience, of course she's going to talk about her. So, since she's an under two roofs family member, she gets to share HER life in our house. My heart just breaks for her.
Last week I was at school to take some pictures for one of the committees I'm on and saw Reag while I was there. We smiled and waved at each other and then I saw her turn to a friend, "That's my mom!" Immediately tears filled my eyes. I was overwhelmed by emotion...love, pride, relief, joy...and the feeling that "we have done this." After all the turmoil that this child has been through and despite every hateful, horrible thing said to her about me under one of her roofs, she called me her mom.
We're doing something right.
Although, two of the three of our children do not have an "under the same roof family" with their biological parents, we are a family and we are raising children who will have the tools to be successful in their lives...in all facets.
It's one of those shows I look forward to every week and when it's not on, I'm disappointed. It's just that good. I laugh and cry every. single. episode. If you don't watch this show, YOU. ARE. MISSING. OUT.
A few weeks ago, part of an episode really struck me regarding families.
There is a character--Jabbar: a 6 year old boy, whose parents were planning on getting married but are no longer. They split up and in this episode had the realization that their son didn't know they wouldn't be getting married even though they all no longer lived under the same roof.
So, they sat down with him together to explain as much.
As they talked, they discussed different types of families with him. The scene finishes with this 6 year old boy somberly saying,
"I wish we were an under the same roof family."
(You can watch the scene here from 17:13 to 19:14 or so.)
I know at times Andrew has wished for that. And Reagan has too.
I remember taking Andrew to the airport when we still lived in Arizona for him to fly to visit his dad and the line was FILLED with kids waiting to get on airplanes alone to visit another parent somewhere. Tears immediately filled my eyes as I was so overcome by how the makeup of families has changed so much and my son was a part of that as well. It's sad, really. I don't wish Andrew's dad and I were still married (obviously). I'm so glad that Andrew has a great relationship with all of his parents and we all are able to love, encourage and support our son peacefully. I cannot imagine what that means to him. He's never known any different, but has been witness to the drastically extreme difference between Reagan and all of her parents and his.
Andrew's struggle is that his dad and I live in two different states, so his time with his dad isn't as frequent.
Reagan's struggle (one of them) is being allowed the freedom to love all of her family. Being told Lily is only her "half-sister" and wouldn't even be that until her dad and I were married (yeah, nevermind genetics) but then having a new baby at BM's that is allowed to be her "sister" even though technically she's a "half" too. Again, why do this to your own child? Just let her love them and be excited about them. Of course, Reagan, is now more comfortable in her role as big sister since Lily is 16 months old, so it's been really exciting for her to see a newborn and have some "experience" under her young 7 year old belt. ;) She talks to us about this new baby just as excited as she did about Lily. However, she also has shared some sadness throughout this process... BM telling her she was the last to know that the baby was born or BM saying to her, "this isn't a free-for-all for you to talk about Lily now that the baby is here." Well, since Lily is Reag's experience, of course she's going to talk about her. So, since she's an under two roofs family member, she gets to share HER life in our house. My heart just breaks for her.
Last week I was at school to take some pictures for one of the committees I'm on and saw Reag while I was there. We smiled and waved at each other and then I saw her turn to a friend, "That's my mom!" Immediately tears filled my eyes. I was overwhelmed by emotion...love, pride, relief, joy...and the feeling that "we have done this." After all the turmoil that this child has been through and despite every hateful, horrible thing said to her about me under one of her roofs, she called me her mom.
We're doing something right.
Although, two of the three of our children do not have an "under the same roof family" with their biological parents, we are a family and we are raising children who will have the tools to be successful in their lives...in all facets.
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Yes, It's Lived In
Ok, so I have recently come across a blogging messy house soulmate in Becky. I'm not sure how I found her, but oh I love her! If we didn't live across the country, we could be real life friends. I mean it. How awesome would it be to have someone over who totally gets the laundry baskets, the turned over toys, the sink full of dishes, the piles of art stuff and papers on the table, the stuff waiting for a bin to be bought so it can be put away?!
I decided to take a few pictures of Tornado Lily after the 937853249th time I had picked up after her because, well, I was just plain exhausted and didn't want to deal with it. This all occured while I was making supper. AFTER I had picked up before my husband got home from work.
Welcome to my world.
I decided to take a few pictures of Tornado Lily after the 937853249th time I had picked up after her because, well, I was just plain exhausted and didn't want to deal with it. This all occured while I was making supper. AFTER I had picked up before my husband got home from work.
Welcome to my world.
I had forgotten how exhausting a toddler can be. Add to it a 7 year old girl who doesn't pick up after herself with ANYTHING and a 12 year old boy who leaves random items of clothing all throughout the house. His room? Well, that's another story.
I've been inspired to get real about what a lived in house looks like. :)
Don't forget my giveaway ends tonight!
Don't forget my giveaway ends tonight!
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