Private Eye *clap clap* It's Watching You

Public versus private.

Anonymous versus known.

Many people blog for a variety of reasons. 

My primary reason is to keep a journal for my family.

This public venue started as a pregnancy documentary and then my baby's life. 

My family and friends are spotted around the country and even a few in other countries, so in an effort to journal for myself and share our pregnancy and new baby with them, thus Got One Past the Goalie began.

I had actually been keeping a private blog prior to that to document all of our lives, not just pregnancy. Trying to maintain two blogs proved to be too much and in an effort to document my pregnancy, the private one failed to get updated.

This blog also became a source of connection for me during my pregnancy...I discovered several bloggers going through pregnancy the same time, found comfort in our similar experiences and continue as we've welcomed our babies and document our babies' lives.

Blogging anonymously hasn't really ever been my thing.  I don't blog as a job or to say things I wouldn't otherwise say in real life.  I journaled as a child--you know the diaries with the locks on the front where you penned your innermost, incredibly important thoughts and doodles. I continued as an adult writing in journals and then I started on blogger around 2005 sparingly.  So it only made sense to make a digital diary of my family's events and pregnancy.  Following Lily's birth, it's been a way to continue sharing pictures and documenting her life as well as the events of our family.

Sometimes it is a place for me to vent and pose questions as well.  Much like my original little girl diary.

Recently, I have found myself feeling tempered in my writing and/or documenting by the fact that my stepdaughter's mother and grandmother (on her mother's side) read my blog.  I have become increasingly uncomfortable with them following my daughter's and my family's chronicles.  I write minimally about my stepdaughter solely so my words don't affect her life when she is not with us, however it hasn't stopped the negativity about her life with us.  And if my public writing contributes to that, then I can do something to change that also.

Thinking about why I started this blog and why I will continue blogging, I have decided to become a private blogger.
I've been contemplating this change for a little while and with the peace that I feel moving into 2011, I've decided it is the right time.

I am who I represent myself to be. What you see in this blog is a reflection of who I am--the positive and the negative and that will remain.

I very much appreciate the thoughts and comments I've received and connections I have made while blogging and I don't take any of it forgranted.

I have received encouragment, support, friendship, acknowledgment, and love that I value so, so much!
So, I will return to writing about my family, my sweet baby's 1st year of life, relationships, activities, venting, posing questions, documenting pictures and keeping my innermost thoughts and doodles just as I did when I was 7 years old...under lock and key.
 
There are many of you who read and do not comment, so if any of you (commenters or not) are interested in continuing reading, just leave me a comment or send me an email to let me know so I can send you an "invitation".


While I recognize it's a hassle to log in to read someone's blog, this is simply the right decision for me.

**I will be continuing blogging just the same.