What Kind of Parent?

Recently, I've been thinking about different types of parenting. 

Well, let's be real, after what should have been a private email conversation posted directly to me on a blog, "hippie shit parenting" was used to describe my parenting.  What exactly is that?  Definitely not in any book I've read.

After I was through laughing about it, it prompted me to think: how would I describe my parenting style?

Conservative.  Definitely.

Traditional.  Certainly a word I'd use, but I recognize that's a subjective one.

George and I are both conservative in our beliefs about children. 
We believe in the Golden Rule.

Our goal is to raise positive, happy, mentally & emotionally & physically healthy children.
We filter what our children watch on tv, the video games they play, when they can play them, we get them involved in activities to build confidence, develop social skills, teamwork, offer life experience away from us. 

We give them responsibility and teach them there are consequences for their actions, we have rules that have a reason behind them (not just for the sake of having rules), we teach them to problem solve on their own, we offer them guidance as they struggle with situations at school, we remind them that their character is shown as they handle difficult situations or people.

More times than I can count, I have had adults tell me how polite and kind and what a good boy, my son is. I watch him hold open doors for strangers to allow women or elderly go in before him, and ensure pleases and thank yous are used. I am proud of who he is when no one's looking.

Granted, he's still a kid and makes mistakes both at home and school---which are absolute teachable moments. And he knows there are consequences for each choice or behavior.

We have 3 children in very different stages--an infant, a new school-ager and a young adolescent. Each age with amazing rewards and its own set of challenges. 

As a result, everything is not equal across the board. They have different responsibilities and different privileges.  Yeah, we sometimes get the "that's not fair" or "well, I don't get to do...", but we explain the "whys" and communicate with them.  We believe teaching children communication skills actually benefits them.

They don't always like our decisions, but it's also not our job to be their friend. We're their parents, not their buddies. While it's not always easy to say no or follow through, it is the right thing to do...as their parents.

We also don't get caught up in labels in our family either. We are moms and dads and brothers and sisters. No step or half. Believe me, pounding into a kid's head that I am ONLY a "stepmother" doesn't make my role any less valuable. I've heard my kids talk to their friends, coaches, teachers  etc. and simply say, "My parents."  

I don't want perfect children.  Rather, children who are capable of independent thinking, treating others with kindness and respect, appreciative and thoughtful.  I'm fortunate to see our parenting at work in these amazing young people everyday.

While I don't know that there's a singular word to describe our parenting style, we are blessed to have wonderful children who benefit from our parenting.

And I know I am a good mother to all 3 of them.  It's one of my strengths.