Dear BioMom,

Awhile ago I came across The Stepfamily Letter Project and thought it was a fantastic idea for people to release some of their feelings and thoughts, as well as connect with others going through similar experiences.  After all, isn't connection and understanding what we all seek?

As I've said before I'm not much for blogging anonymously and although there are things I will never write online, sometimes I just need a place--my place--to express my own thoughts.


Dear BioMom,

I made it clear awhile ago I will not be writing about the shared child in our lives on my blog anymore.  I don't and I won't.  That's actually unfortunate as much of our experiences documented on this blog is the history of our lives and she will be absent in the documenting to reflect back on. 

However, it has not stopped you from reading my blog.  You say online that I stalk you, claim that I, in fact, say I don't read your blog when I've said multiple times I do read.  You call me names, lie about me both online and in real life, perpetuate hatred and then call yourself a Christian woman when it suits you.  I don't take it personally actually because you also write about your own mother much the same. 

Writing and speaking about your daughter's father the way you do, literally makes me sick to my stomach. What you fail to realize is, you are speaking about her as well.... as you chose to have a baby with HIM. No matter, he is a part of her.

I'm not sorry I tell your daughter to not speak to you rudely when she talks to you on the phone when in my care. I'm also not sorry I told her to get out of the street tonight while she was on the phone with you.  What I AM sorry about is, that she is not who she could be because of the hatred spewed into her.  Don't worry, she's learning from you what you set out to teach her... lying being at the top.

If it makes you feel better to think it's my fault for your inabililty to communicate with my husband, it makes no difference to me.  I've learned along the way, accountability isn't something you value, so everything you blame elsewhere is expected.  You've been blaming me for as long as I have been around, so why do you think it would matter to me now?

If it makes you feel better to call me a cow, have at it. I simply don't feel so badly about myself that I have to try to hurt others to build myself up.  Funny to note, though, when you've said you look like a cow lately, I guess by your description, that makes us the same. 
I would be willing to bet there are people in your online life who have struggled with weight who may laugh along with you, but inside possibly feel differently about your choice of words. They often read my blog too, you know.

Just because you think your life with my husband would have been worse than your current life, doesn't mean MY life with him is a bad life.  We've agreed in the past your relationship with my husband was toxic.  Mine is not.  But, again, if it makes you feel better to feel your daughter's life half the time is terrible, have at it. I'm sure that's beneficial to her.

Here's the key...I don't care what you think.

The ONE thing that you do that bothers me continually is lie. But, eventually as has always happened...the truth comes out. 

While you will continue online with "karma being a bitch", I have zero interest in your game.   Perhaps if you invested half as much time and energy into finding out what is truly going on in your daughter's head and heart as you do talking about me, we'd be in a much better place.  But, that will never happen and she will continue to pretend I'm her mom and you're her babysitter in front of people at school.  Did you ever wonder where the speech therapist got the idea that she had already spoken to her mother?  It wasn't from me.

I would like a biomom-free summer. I think nearly 4 years after you first became aware of my existence in my husband's life and have continually tried hurting me, it is well past time for a break. So, I will be celebrating and enjoying my family and deal with you again once school begins in the fall. Thanks.

~Stepmom