Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Learning as We Go

Recently Reagan got in trouble at school for something.  We were pretty surprised since she's pretty much one of those kids who is a pleaser.  Doesn't like for anyone to be upset with her.

It's one of those situations that becomes more difficult because of the living under two roofs family situation. So, George and I simply handle it in our home as we feel is best.

The details of her actions aren't crucial to the story because it's something that we believe every child tries and goes through and we strongly believe that this was simply a kid thing, not something based on the circumstances of her life. How it's handled and how it's reacted to will ultimately tell if the lesson was learned.

Suffice to say we were simply disappointed in her choices.

What is ultimately difficult with Reagan is finding something as a consequence that is impactful on her.

As we talked with her, she teared up a couple times recognizing our disappointment in her actions.  Of course, we were trying to deal with this on an evening we were trying to get out the door to Andrew's band concert and the night before she'd be heading back to BM's house for the weekend. 

She was pretty solemn most of the evening.

When George shared with her that she wouldn't be able to participate in her pajama day at school, she tried to hold back her tears as she listened. He explained that it was difficult for us as well because we don't want her to miss out either.

It was impactful.

When she came home yesterday after the weekend with BM, she shared that BM & stepdad said much of the same to her as we did about her actions.  (omg, I about fell over!)

Although, of course even in a situation that we seemingly all feel the same about, it was fraught with comments to her, such as:  "Well, at least your dad got something right for once in his life." and "At least he finally got one punishment right." and "Well, they're basically telling you it's ok because that's the kind of people they are and they do that too." 

I wish so much for Reagan that even that mistake she made could have just been left as something all of her parents agreed about and that was that.  Instead it was (of course) turned into sarcastic, negative comments about her dad.  Yeah, ok, 'cause that was the point. *rolling my eyes*

We're hopeful that Reag took the experience and learned the lesson. 

Time will tell.

1 comment:

  1. I've never understood why seperate parents feel the need to undermind each other like that. Having opinions about your ex or their new partner are your own opinions. You're kid is not your sounding board. I hope Reagan knows that her dad is a wonderful man and comes to realize that it's not her fault she's being put in the middle of things.