The Eyes Have It

 *Part one of what led us to glasses.

We had Lily's follow up eye appointment this week.  The glasses have been great and she has no issue wearing them at all! Patching is still a struggle some days and realistically we haven't patched every single day.  I'd say we average 4 days a week for 2 hours those days. I'm currently working on an incentive chart for her that will hopefully help her not struggle with it and for me to be more consistent.  We were originally to go back for a check up 6 months from her initial visit, which should have been March, but when I had finally called June 3, was the first we could get in.

George and I were again nervous because we had noticed some additional things happening with her eyes recently.  Her left eye was still crossing when she'd have her glasses off, more significantly still when she was tired.  We had both separately noticed that her right eye started doing the same.  My heart sank.

Yesterday morning when Lily was getting dressed and she didn't have her glasses on, I was walking toward her and she said laughing, "There's two of you!" Her eyes were crossed.  Again, heart sinking.

All this time, my suspicion growing that she'll need surgery.

We met up with Stef and her little ones for lunch and to play beforehand which turned out to be the best distraction for both of us, as her 14 year old cat died that morning and I was pretty anxious about this eye follow up. Yay for the best of friends!

When we walked into the new office --they were in a temporary office during our first visit-- Lily was thrilled to see Cars 2 playing on the tv!  She immediately made her way over to the toys and played with her familiar trucks and blocks.  The kid has an incredible memory and before we'd even gotten there she asked me about those toys!  Hanging on the wall was a Little Mermaid print which she immediately spotted and exclaimed joyfully about.  She was in heaven! One of her fave movies playing and Ariel on the wall.

We made our way to the exam room where she had her eyes checked again telling what pictures were on the cards shown to her.

After she did the initial exam, she had her eyes dilated and we had to wait 20 minutes for that to do its job, so we headed back out to the waiting area aka the trucks, blocks and movie.  Well, Cars 2 had ended, so a new movie was put on. Again, a dream come true for Lily...Frozen!  We moved back into an exam room after the dilation period was up and she was still able to watch her movie.

Nursing cover turned Elsa cape...

 Frozen was a great way for Dr. Cheng to have her focus on something far away.

Checking out her eyes when she's looking and focusing closer.

Because her eyes were dilated, she was having difficulty seeing and kept trying to adjust her eyes and saying, "Mommy, my eyes can't see right." 

I love this picture!

I expressed our observations about her other eye turning and Lily saying just that morning she could see two of me and Dr. Cheng was wonderfully reassuring that all of that were actually good things!  The other eye turning shows that her brain is still using both eyes to see and not just one. And the blurriness she experienced without her glasses on is the same thing--both of her eyes are working. I asked about swimming and how to handle that and he said she was perfectly fine to swim without glasses and just wear them if she were out of the pool playing, but in the water, she's fine to go without.

He said she's still far sighted and her eyes are perfectly straight wearing her glasses when she's looking far away, but wants to bump up her prescription a little because she's still turning on that original eye when she's focusing closer.  He also said this is all very normal and she's doing exactly as he'd hoped.

So we'll continue patching just 5 days a week 1 to 2 hours a day, get her some new glasses and see him again in about 4 months!

Lily was so good through this whole appointment! Polite, moved from waiting room to exam room to waiting room to exam room without issue, answered questions directly. I could not have been prouder of her!

I Can See Clearly Now

Last summer, shortly after Lily's 3 year old well visit to the pediatrician, we started noticing Lily's left eye turning in a  bit when she was tired, so we headed back to the doctor where I mentioned what we had seen. { love her!}  She checked her eyes and saw what we were talking about and recommended we see a pediatric opthalmologist reassuring us that it doesn't have to mean worst case scenario.  We immediately called to make the appointment, but still were unable to get in for a few weeks.  Of course between the pediatrician visit and the opthalmologist visit, I broke my ankle, Andrew broke his wrist, and of course I was still in my 31+ weeks of pregnancy.

Lily's eye actually began turning more frequently and more significantly, but again, mostly when she was tired. The thing is, it's tricky to tell really because kids do weird things with their eyes and when it's slight, you're not entirely sure you actually see it or if it's just a quick focusing thing. 

This picture (2 days before her appointment), she had just woken up. Her left, your right.

The day of her appointment, George and I were both pretty nervous. The possibility of having something wrong with our baby's vision was pretty scary.   There were a lot of trucks and blocks to play with in the waiting area and when it came time to go back to an examination room, Lily didn't want to give up the truck, so the truck came too.   In the first part of the exam, Lily had to cover each eye and name the black and white object on a card as they moved further and further away.

This was reviewing the cards to see if she knew what the pictures were to start with.

I loved this! She was examining her baby doll's eyes the same way, but using a block to cover one eye.

Dr. Cheng is so good with kids!! We are thrilled to have found him!

The determination of the exam is that she is farsighted.  When she's focusing on something close, her left eye turns in/crosses because it is unable to focus clearly. The concern with that is without correction, eventually the brain stops using the eye and vision is lost in that eye.  So, we left with a prescription for glasses and instructions to patch her "good eye"  1-2 hours a day to strengthen the weaker one.  Dr. Cheng did say it's possible for her to outgrow her glasses as she grows.  Considering everyone in her family wears glasses, we were hopeful it would be an easy transition for her.  Luckily it was!

We picked up a temporary patch on the way home until we could find some more information about patching.  Patching has been the most difficult part of the whole thing. Some days she doesn't complain, some days it's like torture.  We also went that same afternoon to order glasses for her.  She picked them herself because we wanted her to be comfortable in them so she'd wear them!  I think she did perfectly!

Follow-up appointment coming up...

The Rest of the Story...Glasses

I mentioned yesterday about writing a weekly stepfamily post. Bear with me as I try to figure out what day it'll end up being.  I'm thinking Tuesdays might be the day.  So for this week, it is. :)

About 10 days ago I had written about Reagan needing and getting glasses after receiving a letter home that she didn't pass her vision screening.  Last year we had received one for Andrew as well, so we knew what it entailed.  This should be no biggie, right?  Nothing is as simple as it should be with BM involved. 

That's a simple order of business that George should be able to let BM know about, the kid goes to the eye doctor and gets what she needs, and it's taken care of.  Instead, the letter comes, George lets BM know and gets attacked immediately because he didn't tell her in the way she thought he should and that I opened the letter that came in the mail at my house.  

Like I said, nothing simple.  It's frustrating.

Subsequent threatening that BM would be taking Reagan to a different eye doctor and he would, in fact, be paying for it.  Threats to call the doctor's office to cancel the appointment to pick out the frames.  Swears at him when he tries to ask her on the phone if she wants a copy of the eye prescription then tells him to call her other phone because her husband's cell phone doesn't get signal in their house. (He's "not allowed" to have her phone number even though it's court ordered. She claims it's because I will harrass her. HA!)   He literally said, "Do you want..." and she cut him off to yell what she had to say, called him a liar preceded by her favorite "f" word. He then calls the home phone she told him to call and she has her husband answer and say she's busy.

And that, my friends, is "communication" between my husband and BM.

Let me also add that because BM was so up in arms about Reagan picking out glasses without her, despite my husband letting her know when and where and telling her she could show up if she wanted, she told R that if she didn't like her glasses she'd break them and say it was an "accident" and get her new glasses.

Seriously. 

Here's just a thought too. If George had her cell phone number, he could have sent her pictures of Reagan in different frames in real time since she chose not to come and she STILL could have been a participant.  She'd rather be mad that she didn't control what he did. 

So, a simple letter that Reagan didn't pass her vision screening from school turns into an exhaustive event.

Conversely, last year when the letter came for Andrew, I called his dad, let him know, told him of the appointment, told him Andrew needed glasses, I sent him a picture of the ones Andrew picked out and that was it.  The end.  I don't DREAD dealing with him because we both do what our son needs done and that's it. 

We literally DREAD having to deal with BM and while my husband is the one who does, I ALWAYS get brought into it through her emails referring to me as merely "a 3rd party" etc.  We keep interaction with her all business.  He addresses the statements she makes that are concerning their daughter and doesn't engage in the other.

Rather than her concern being her daughter, her issue is and has always been me. 

From the day I met Reagan, she started her battle...about me.  Guess what?  It's not about me.  So when she says to my husband that she doesn't "consent" to him taking Reagan to pick out her frames without her because it's "not up to your wife's ridiculous idea of what is age-appropriate for MY daughter," really puts it out there what her concern truly is. 
Number one, she's both of yours. Number two, get over yourself because my opinion is that your daughter chooses what SHE wants.  Number three, it's STILL not about me all these years later.

And the fact is, Reagan picked out the glasses she wanted and she is happy with them!



Busy Week & New Glasses

Yesterday my computer had some crazy stuff going on. I think it was a virus or something. My husband was able to get it fixed up and squared away, thankfully.  I had emails I needed and wanted to reply to, some blog posts to write and some research to do, but it all had to wait.  I'm still having trouble with a photo program and it's driving me crazy, but he says he can fix it, however he said "Do not mess with it. I stress...do not mess with it." ha  He knows my impatience with it.

Anyway....

This week flew by since it was busy and thus starts hectic life for the next few weeks all over again. 

Andrew and Reagan  were off school on Monday and Tuesday.  When there's no school on Mondays and Fridays, Reag is at BM's house, so we were all happy she was here Tuesday since we have only a couple non-school days that are not Mondays or Fridays.  We had parent-teacher conferences on Monday for both of them.

I LOVE Andrew's teachers! 6th grade is tougher than previous years i.e. he actually has to work harder and the As don't come as easily for him.  There are three 6th grade classes and they split all the kids into high, middle, low groups and rotate to all 3 teachers for different subjects.  They did it in 5th grade too, so he's used to it and it seems to work for all the students for their needs to be met.  We're happy with it and it's been good for Andrew, they all think he's a good kid--they just wish he'd volunteer to participate more.  Plus, it's a good practice for when he goes to junior high next year. OHMYGOODNESSSSSSS junior high! Too fast.

Reagan is doing well in school also and her teacher said she has transitioned to her new school fabulously! We hope she continues doing as well the rest of the school year and fully expect that to be the case.  Her teacher has shared with us many times that she thinks Reag could run the class. :)

On Tuesday after we picked Reagan up at BM's, we headed to the Holiday Shop at school for the olders to do their Christmas shopping.  I cracked up that both Andrew and Reagan independently picked out the same thing for George.  

We also did some raking of the billions of leaves in our yard. We knew we were in for only a couple more really good fall days before the weather turned cold...again, so we wanted to make sure we got them cleaned up and just did it all together. Lily just practiced walking back and forth and had zero interest in being held or helped. Yes, my girls are doing yard work in skirts. :) 

Having grown up in Arizona with no leaves, I don't mind raking them either. It was a nice afternoon with beautiful weather and fun for the 5 of us to hang out not trying to cram typical school day responsibilities into and still have some leftover family time. We had an enjoyable day finished off by supper and playing Uno before the kids went to bed.

Reagan also had an eye doctor appointment this week since we got notice she didn't pass the school vision screening.  I forgot my camera, so I only got cell phone pics of her visit. :(  She thought the sunglasses they gave her to wear since her eyes were dilated were fun and kept cracking up at herself in the mirror.  The funniest part while we waited was when she said, "I hope we make it back to school for lunch. We're having a really good chicken sandwich today."  ha!  We made it just in time. 

We found out she's near sighted and definitely needs glasses.  She was super excited to pick out glasses when she found out she needed them! We waited until the next day for her to pick out frames so she could see better after her eyes were dilated and because she wanted her dad to be there.  She can't wait for them to come in.  When she came home from school, she said she'd told her friends she needs glasses and couldn't wait to pick them out too!

She's a lucky kid because quite honestly, she looked good in every pair of glasses she put on. Obviously some were better than others, but we told her to pick what she liked, what she felt comfortable wearing.  She tried them all on and then started narrowing down.

Her final choice:

After picking out glasses, last night we ended our week with a family movie night of Cars 2.  We're looking forward to a relaxing weekend.

*I've begun watermarking particular pictures as I have had several ip addresses downloading photographs of Reagan recently.

Do You See What I See?

God, I love those baby blues!

Andrew has been squinting a lot lately, so we made an appointment to get his eyes checked out.

See?

Squints.

Since The Sandlot is one of his favorite movies, that's what I've been calling him. :)

We headed off to the doctor and my sweet, old soul son was filled with a billion questions.

"Mom, the sign says 'eye surgery'. Are they going to do surgery on my eyes? I'd rather squint. What kinds of things will they do to check my eyes? I'm sure I need glasses, how long will it be until I get them? Why can't I get them today?"

And this is how I often find my son...nose stuck in a book.

(I interrupted his reading.)

Yep. He does, in fact, need glasses. :)

He's nearsighted which we expected.

Picking out frames was interesting. He didn't care.

Well, he cared...a little.

I gave him a couple different ones to try and he wasn't as concerned about how they looked as whether they felt comfortable.

I love this kid!

And these are the ones he chose.

I think he looks great and he loves them because "they're comfortable, Mom."

2 weeks, Andrew, 2 weeks.