Tuesday, November 22, 2011

The Rest of the Story...Glasses

I mentioned yesterday about writing a weekly stepfamily post. Bear with me as I try to figure out what day it'll end up being.  I'm thinking Tuesdays might be the day.  So for this week, it is. :)

About 10 days ago I had written about Reagan needing and getting glasses after receiving a letter home that she didn't pass her vision screening.  Last year we had received one for Andrew as well, so we knew what it entailed.  This should be no biggie, right?  Nothing is as simple as it should be with BM involved. 

That's a simple order of business that George should be able to let BM know about, the kid goes to the eye doctor and gets what she needs, and it's taken care of.  Instead, the letter comes, George lets BM know and gets attacked immediately because he didn't tell her in the way she thought he should and that I opened the letter that came in the mail at my house.  

Like I said, nothing simple.  It's frustrating.

Subsequent threatening that BM would be taking Reagan to a different eye doctor and he would, in fact, be paying for it.  Threats to call the doctor's office to cancel the appointment to pick out the frames.  Swears at him when he tries to ask her on the phone if she wants a copy of the eye prescription then tells him to call her other phone because her husband's cell phone doesn't get signal in their house. (He's "not allowed" to have her phone number even though it's court ordered. She claims it's because I will harrass her. HA!)   He literally said, "Do you want..." and she cut him off to yell what she had to say, called him a liar preceded by her favorite "f" word. He then calls the home phone she told him to call and she has her husband answer and say she's busy.

And that, my friends, is "communication" between my husband and BM.

Let me also add that because BM was so up in arms about Reagan picking out glasses without her, despite my husband letting her know when and where and telling her she could show up if she wanted, she told R that if she didn't like her glasses she'd break them and say it was an "accident" and get her new glasses.


Here's just a thought too. If George had her cell phone number, he could have sent her pictures of Reagan in different frames in real time since she chose not to come and she STILL could have been a participant.  She'd rather be mad that she didn't control what he did. 

So, a simple letter that Reagan didn't pass her vision screening from school turns into an exhaustive event.

Conversely, last year when the letter came for Andrew, I called his dad, let him know, told him of the appointment, told him Andrew needed glasses, I sent him a picture of the ones Andrew picked out and that was it.  The end.  I don't DREAD dealing with him because we both do what our son needs done and that's it. 

We literally DREAD having to deal with BM and while my husband is the one who does, I ALWAYS get brought into it through her emails referring to me as merely "a 3rd party" etc.  We keep interaction with her all business.  He addresses the statements she makes that are concerning their daughter and doesn't engage in the other.

Rather than her concern being her daughter, her issue is and has always been me. 

From the day I met Reagan, she started her battle...about me.  Guess what?  It's not about me.  So when she says to my husband that she doesn't "consent" to him taking Reagan to pick out her frames without her because it's "not up to your wife's ridiculous idea of what is age-appropriate for MY daughter," really puts it out there what her concern truly is. 
Number one, she's both of yours. Number two, get over yourself because my opinion is that your daughter chooses what SHE wants.  Number three, it's STILL not about me all these years later.

And the fact is, Reagan picked out the glasses she wanted and she is happy with them!


  1. And they look GREAT on her! She looks adorable.

  2. They look perfect on her! She looks great! :)

  3. sucks that seems like BM will never 'grow up', sorry you have to deal with that

    she looks so cute with those glasses!!!

  4. ugh! gosh, what's the big deal? look at her? she's so happy and she looks great in what SHE picked! i'm so sorry you have to deal with this nonsense everytime some mundane issue comes up!

  5. I gave you a blog award!

  6. Love the glasses. I totally feel for you in this situation. In my previous marriage, the BM was the same way. She actually had no contact with her children, until she found out I had come into the picture. Then everything turned into a mess with her.