Wednesday, May 22, 2013

One Year Coparenting

One year.

One phone call.

Seems like not a lot of time really, but when you think about the daily chaos that preceded it for years, it's huge.

We've made it a year!!

We've gone to activities together, counseling together, we've been flexible with schedules and days, we've worked together to accommodate each other's family plans.

We each are welcoming new baby girls this year.

So much has changed.

Does it mean that we always agree? Nope.
Does it mean that we don't still make each other mad? Nope.

What it does mean, is that we handle it all differently.

There simply isn't the blame game going on even when we have difficulties with our shared daughter.

Personally, it's been a harder last 6 months or so in my own relationship with Reagan than in my relationship with her mom.  Part of life, I imagine.

I'm so grateful for the renewed existence and appreciate the ability to be able to share how I feel about a situation even when I know mom doesn't or isn't going to agree.  I think being able to gain each other's perspective instead of simply being stubborn has been truly life changing for all of us.

What I did not anticipate was a lot of the resistance we experienced from Reagan herself.  There are still attempts on her part to stir up trouble, but I don't know that she still knows how to handle her mother and I saying, "Well, I'm sure your mom..." or "Well, I know that Stephanie..." in defense of each other and putting the accountability and responsibility back on her. We're still working through it.

It's definitely still a learning process, but safe to say... life is good.  And we haven't been in court since August of 2011!   With none of us having any desire to return.

Finding a new way to handle coparenting, blended families, and issues has been very, very good for all of us one year later.


  1. Blended families is rough!
    Just last night my boyfriend and I both yelled at each other for being quicker to get mad at the other's child than our biological one. It's so hard. I'm sure it'll just get harder as the girls get older, since now they're just under and just over two.

  2. "I highly doubt that Stephanie *fill in the blank*..." Is my new most used line hahahaha.

    It's been a good year. Glad to be here now with the preteen drama instead of the way it was before - Reg needs us now more than ever!!!

    1. It was easiest to say that instead of explaining that she expects you to buy into me not feeding her etc. :)