Thursday, May 17, 2012

And Now You Know...The Rest of the Story

My dad and I used to listen to Paul Harvey in the car. Great memory. :)

You know what I love?  A new day.  Supportive friends. The love of a good man and happy children.

 I'm content most of the time. I love my family and it doesn't take a lot of "stuff" to make me happy. Sure I love "stuff" sometimes, but that most definitely is not my love language. 

Occasionally I have days when I don't feel that contentment or happy, of course.  Yesterday was an odd day. In dealing with the drama biomama, I wasn't even mad. I seriously laughed at the stupidity of it. Maybe because I'd vented it out on the phone to a friend or because the ridiculousness that I have to deal with it was comical. I'm not sure.  But, I was in a place of simply not biting my tongue. {via twitter and blog, of course}. That's all. And despite her belief that you need to swear, name call and just generally be hateful in your demeanor, I think you can get your point across and not put up with it, by simply making statements.

After all the day's drama, she culminated it with saying that I am the reason coparenting never works. 

Number one. I never said that.

Number two. Many people who have heard her "story" believe she was never pregnant. My answer has always been, "I just don't know. Who's to say. I have no proof either way."   And truthfully, I don't care one way or the other.
Shortly after I did miscarry in 2009, SHE "took to twitter" to ask me "How's your pregnancy going?" along with more name calling and expletives.  It was hateful, hurtful and truly gave me the glimpse of the evil that lives within her.  I know what I went through at nearly 11 weeks and how she treated me afterwards. I simply said to her, "I will never treat you the way you treated me."

Number three. Just like three Superior Court Justices, a trial judge, two attorneys and two psychologists's always about me.  And it just shouldn't be. She and my husband ARE coparenting, she just doesn't get her way, so she says it doesn't work.  Not. My. Problem.

I told my husband last night I'm beyond the point in life of smiling and nodding when people think they can say whatever they want and it's ok because "that's the way they are."  There are two particular people in my life who do that and BM is one of them.  Gone are the days of just getting away with it because she uses XYZ as an excuse.  

I don't appreciate being taken advantage of because I'm kind or because I bite my tongue.

I'm trying to teach my son to stand up for himself in appropriate situations and some of those are arising in my stepdaughter's life as well.  Teaching him how to respond appropriately and maintaining integrity is something I have to model.

That's how yesterday's story ended.

Thanks for the support, understand and recognizing that I write my story to write my story. I don't need attention from this drama. I'm embarrassed by her and every person in her life enables her to be this way.  Valuing nothing, feeling entitled to everything, her way or no way.  That's my stepdaughter's model.  Imagine how hard it is to undo that?  So, THAT'S why I took the time when I did to discuss education, college degrees, teaching and the value of hardwork with my stepdaughter. So she knows. The positive for her out of the drama.   Far too much knowledge about negative and evil for her young 8 years.

Back to regularly scheduled life posts...


  1. Oh, Steph, I have several people like that in my life. I try so hard to ignore, but you reach a point where you can't take it anymore. Big hugs, and I hope today is better (and less dramatic).

    1. Thanks, Stef! For the most part I do ignore. When it becomes exhausting and blatant, then those are the moments I can no longer. Doesn't have to be a blow up because I don't bite my tongue. I'm capable of getting my point across without resorting to namecalling and expletives. :)

  2. Steph, I am sorry that your step daughter is caught in the middle like this. I am sorry that you are too. It's not fair to anyone to have to have this kind of negative banter hitting all of you all the time. When there is no rest from the drama, there is no place for a healing to occur.
    I am sending out love and positive thoughts to ALL of you. Even the BM. Because honestly, I can't imagine how she can live feeling so much hatred, and anger. I hope she finds some peace.

    1. Exactly true. I pray for her too.

      Thank you, Dina.

  3. Hugs to you.

    Being that I follow you on twitter, I know you never said that. Lying is just dumb and for someone to lie to just get attention is annoying. I hope she comes to realize living the way she does is not healthy.

    R gets the support she needs from you and she will know how lucky she is to have you!


    1. Thank you, friend!

      I have no words most of the time for the lying. I just don't understand. Now, the claim is that I deleted those tweets. *rolls eyes* Whatever, delusional.

      Despite the efforts to ruin our relationship, Reag and I work very hard on it and our bond is very strong. I'm so thankful!

      Thank you again for your kind words, love and support!