Nothing Like A Little Drama...To Take Me Down Memory Lane

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I wanted to let a couple days pass before writing about the current state of stepmotherhood and dealing with unstable BM because I WAS. PISSED. on Monday.  Truthfully, it wasn't the kid part that I was mad about. She's actually been in a good place the last few weeks, overall. Thankfully!

I don't give a crap about BM's feelings, thoughts, fantasies, about me.  However, when things are so blatantly ridiculous and said to Reagan, THAT'S what pisses me off. Why put garbage in your child's head? Because you're psycho, that's why.  

I mentioned last week Mother's Days gifts from Reag that she made at school. I didn't write about them specifically on my blog because I know how school gifts are and didn't want BM's Mother's Day gifts to be "spoiled" by already knowing what they'd be.  {yes, she reads even though she claims she does not} I'm considerate and not interested in the one-upmanship game I'm an unwilling party member.

Regarding thsese gifts...

On Monday, I'd read on BM's post that said specifically

When I read "I most certainly never claimed to be a teacher," I thought, "Here we go again with this crap."
BM has said in the past I was never a teacher, lied about graduating from college and don't really have a degree.
I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt that she wasn't going down that path...again.


Later when Reag came home from school and apologized about some things on her own {which was both surprising and awesome}, she told me she accidently gave BM my  "Top Ten Reasons Why I Love My Mom".  I wondered about one of her answers on the one I got because we don't do what she wrote, but figured like a lot of kids, she was just writing to get it done.  When I learned about the mix up, it made sense.

Turns out, my giving BM the benefit of the doubt was too much credit for her.

I honestly should have known better. 

She did, in fact, mean exactly what she implied that I "claimed" to be a teacher going as far as telling Reagan that I could have just printed my degree off the internet.

What purpose does it serve to put garbage like that in your child's head?  Senseless crap for her to sort out about people she loves, truth and lies.  Emotionally damaging.  

Too bad for her, Reagan knows I graduated, have a degree and taught school.

I worked hard and graduated Summa Cum Laude. So, when you claim I lie about it, I will definitely and proudly claim my 4.0 GPA college degree to show "your" daughter that with hard work and dedication, you can achieve it!  Thanks for allowing me the opportunity to have a great conversation with her about education and college.

Funny enough, last week Reagan's teacher implemented something in her classroom I had used in my classroom and suggested to her about tattling and a means of curbing it.  Reag came home from school one day and said, "My teacher said to the whole class, 'Reagan's mom used to use this in her classroom and we're going to do this!'  Reag was proud. It was sweet.  I'm glad this event preceded BM's garbage filling nonsense.

I've honestly got to figure out a way to just stop trying to figure out WHY she is emotionally destructive to Reagan because that's where I get stuck. And she's never going to stop.  Her actions and behaviors continue to provide proof of that.
She can think whatever she wants about me. She classically uses her daughter in the middle in an effort to hurt me, but she'll never understand that's all that matters to me is Reagan. Not her. 

According to BM, Reagan shouldn't have told me "Happy Mother's Day"  because I'm not her mom. No shit, I'm not her biological mom. Like either of us needs the reminder from you.  But I'm THE mom who loves her without strings. She doesn't have to choose in our home. She is allowed to love everyone. Period.  So things like telling her she shouldn't say "Happy Mother's Day" and refusing to allow her to FaceTime her dad because of whatever your delusional reasons are, just shows her that we're willing to do what's best for her always, unlike the reverse. 

I said to my husband that after five years, you'd think it would get better on some level. Nope, not a chance.  I don't vent to him about it at all. She's not a part of our household. I vent to a couple friends {thanks for the ears!} and occasionally twitter gets it and some needs journaled for my own sense of sanity.  I wouldn't wish this crazycakes on my worst enemy. Oh wait. How would that work? How could I wish her on herself?

I'll be sending back to BM the "Top Ten Reasons" that was meant for her because I do the right thing regardless of what's said and done for and about me.

3 1/2 weeks of school left then we deal with an entirely new set of drama that will accompany our summer schedule of week on/week off.  The cycle never ends.
Thank GOD we do not endure this on Andrew's side.

*added after she, who doesn't read my blog, read my blog:

Andrew was in kindergarten :)

yes, this was December in Arizona...understand why I wanna go back???

 We had two ceremonies! One for the whole University

and the other for the College of Education.

My sweet, sweet friend, Mo, who made FastTrack enjoyable!

We celebrated together!

 My advisor, Irma, who was a Godsend in my education.

I'm so honored she attended my graduation!